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Those Damn Yankees-Explicit


This week has been somber for baseball fans, we had Rob Manfred stand up at the draft saying there will 100% be baseball this year, likely a blatant lie trying to cover his ass because the owners and him are greedy pricks that refuse to give up any of their billions of dollars to satisfy the players and fans across the globe. But not to worry, We received a shining star that every baseball fan will love to hear, The New York Yankees, those pretentious assholes from the Bronx with all their 27 rings (20 of them coming before JFK was assassinated so do they really count?) and players going at the Astros relentlessly for cheating are getting exposed. A federal judge Friday ruled that a letter sent from the commissioner’s office to the Yankees in 2017 was to be unsealed and revealed to the public, in this letter is supposedly proof of a larger sign stealing operation than was previously reported. Previously the Yankees were fined an undisclosed amount for apparently misusing a dugout phone. This simple slap on the wrist wasn’t really made a big deal back then, the Yankees were trying to get a competitive edge but they weren’t really crossing the line like the Astros had and this empowered those young Yanks to be appalled by the Astros and claim they were robbed of their chance to compete for a World Series. And to be honest I haven’t seen a team have something bite them so hard in the ass in a long time. The Yankees, the world’s most hated team got caught with a similar scheme as the Astros. Reports are saying that the Yankees not only had one camera in the outfield, THEY HAD THREE, staring down at the catcher to read signs and then decode them. Not only that the Yanks supposedly had a whole four man team to decode and relay the signs to runners and hitters in real time. What Yankees players and fans alike have been roasting the Astros for all year was happening in New York, maybe not with trash cans because the Yankees are a little smarter than that, but the same shit happening in Houston was happening in New York. So now all those Yankees fans complaining relentlessly, “We should’ve beat the Astros”, “The only reason they won is because they cheated”, “We were robbed”, can go find a dark room to hide out in while they’re shamed relentlessly, their only comfort being “we have 27 rings, it’s ok we have 27 rings” disregarding the fact that the majority of those were won against plumbers and players had absolutely no choice in what team they played for so the Yankees could just buy anyone they wanted because they were rich as hell. Even with no baseball, this is the greatest thing to happen for baseball fans all year, there is absolutely no better thing for the sport than when the Yankees are undisputedly hated, and with this news they may just take over the top spot for most roasted by fans from the Astros. Now my only extra hope is that the shit that comes out in this letter is brutal as hell and baseball with fans comes back so we can witness the same massacre of the Yankees in the stadium and the Internet as we saw the Astros experience in spring training.

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